Can I Wear A Bag Over My Head?

I got two visitors...oh wait, THREE visitors that showed up on my face this morning. Allow me introduce you to them:

(I thought pouty lips would make the whole thing seem more dramatic. Yeah?)

I affectionately call them Thing 1, Thing 2 and Steve. (Steve's the one all by himself). I hate cold sores. I know that they aren't really that popular with anyone, but I really, really hate them. Thankfully, I only get them about once a year, but still, they seriously cramp my style. And, they hurt like the dickens...and why do I have to have 3 at one time? I blame my mom for passing the gene. Thanks a lot.

I had some medicine left over from 2009's annual cold sore break-out and I took it immediately. It did no good. By noon people were steering clear of me most likely because they were afraid to contract this lovely condition, but probably because I looked like a freak. Remember Martin Short on Pure Luck when he got stung by a bee? Yeah, my top lip was doing a pretty good reinactment of that. And, no, it wasn't in a sexy Angelina Jolie sort of way.

I called my doctor to call in a prescription of pills and cream - I was pretty desperate at this point. I went to Walmart to pick it up after work. Of course, there was an enormous line that I jumped in. I figured since my doc had called in a prescription that I could just wait in the pick-up line. Well, after 25 minutes, I finally got to the front of the line and told the (rather rude) lady what I needed. She just motioned over to the drop off window and told me that I needed to go there first. Awesome. I was having such a good time.

Did I mention I had gone on a spur of the moment 3 mile walk a couple of days earlier? I was wearing new flip flops and 1.5 miles in realized that they were causing a pretty big problem with my poor feet. By the time we got back to the car (1.5 miles later) I was so far beyond blisters that I just had a huge gash on the top of each foot. Pretty sure I should have been rushed immediately to the hospital for emergency surgery or at least a skin graft, but I toughed it out. So, needless to say, standing anywhere at this point for 25 minutes was not pleasant.

So, the lady at the drop off window told me it would be about 20 minutes for my prescription to be filled. Perfect. Just what I wanted to hear. There wasn't a line anymore at the pharmacy, so I hobbled around the store and picked up a few things. It took me about 20 minutes, so I hurried and checked out and took my items to my car. When I got back to the pharmacy, guess what I found?

Another huge line.

I just can't catch a break.

So, I stood in line again for another 22 minutes and finally made it up to the counter. The surly lady from earlier must have been on break because I got a really old guy. He grabbed my prescriptions and rang them up. When he told me the total, I just about passed out.

Really Old Guy: "That'll be $240.17." (!!!!)

Me: "I'm sorry, what???"

Really Old Guy: "Your total is $240.17."

I don't remember asking for something that cured cancer or came in a solid gold case. Are you kidding me? Who pays that much for cold sore medicine??? I asked him if he had run my insurance and he said that he had. Wow. This was ridiculous.

I had him break it down for me. The pills were almost $200. He didn't even laugh when I asked if that included a life-time supply. The cream was just under $40.

Me: "Fine, I just want the cream."

Bless his heart, he had the biggest struggle removing the pills from my total. It had to have taken him 10 minutes. I could hear people sighing and complaining under their breaths, but it wasn't my fault. I didn't want to have to wait any more than they did.

25 + 29 + 22 = way too much time in line at Walmart

So, guess how big the $40 tube of cream was?

Pretty big, huh? And the best part is that when I removed the cap at home, half of the tube squirted out all over my bathroom counter.

I may or may not have sworn.